The moment I look back.

Was simply slacking around in my room as usual(couldn't move thanks to a stupid blister. Burst but won't heal.) doing my stuffs(watching videos and playing games) and all of a sudden, I kinda hear someone's voice.

That's when I simply stop everything and somehow, just started deep-thinking.

Yes, sadly, I went too far, this time.
I begin to think about my very first relationship, on what shattered it and all. Strangely enough, I had enough courage to deliver full left hook on someone's left cheek but didn't even dare to hold my girlfriend's hand. Some scenes were blur, probably because I couldn't remember much. But I remember when she sent me the necklace I bought for her and wants to break up with me, I simply let her go, asking her to keep the necklace since it's already her's.

Then, my second relationship, on how did it happened. She was someone's boyfriend a week ago and then all of a sudden, I find myself holding her hands walking down the moonlit path along the reservoir, where my first kiss was stolen by her. Yes, she took action first and was the first girl I held hands with. Somehow, one way or another, it gotten to the point where her parents called me and scream at me. Still can remember I am shouting back angrily because I wasn't in the wrong. Broke up because she wanted to. I couldn't hold back my tears, and they simply rolls off my cheek as I quietly stood on the train home.

Third relationship, hell. I lost her to Miyabi/Miyavi/whatever his name is. A Jap Trash singer. His screamo songs and rock can't beat Gazette and Led Zeppelin so yeah. Nothing much worth talking about.

....

....

And it just ended there. Don't ask me why, I don't know... Probably got disturbed by my mum who always intrudes my room despite me locking it. When I am lost in thoughts, I lost my sense of surrounding as well... And that's fucking bad. I'll probably die on the frontlines of the battlefield.

Haiz, why am I talking about this? It's retarded. Relationships always work for others and never works for me. Hell, I even got a couple together and now they are happily married with a cute baby boy! *prays you two don't divorce*

It's not my time yet. I know that very well. But I know myself... If I start to get too serious in my work, I will be such workaholic that even if a bomb explodes at my workplace, I would still want to finish my work. I probably won't even want to have a girlfriend by then because my trust won't be there knowing most girls at that time would simply attach themselves to guys with money.

Can't risk it. I have a hatred for materialistic girls. Don't ask why but know this - They are the kind who I won't hesitate to slap/punch/kick/whatever them real hard. Don't play with my feelings.

That's all for today~

Tired... *yawns*