Open mind.

How open-minded are you?

I am constantly face with the challenge on the degree of openness you can keep with people.
And of course, I do realise that how open-minded you are depends on who you're with.

I mean, you certainly don't go around strangers and act as if you're close friends and start sprouting some dirty jokes and stuffs, right?

There's a limit to everything and limiting your openness to simply your inner circle of friends is the ideal choice. When I mean inner circle of friends, I don't mean all your friends.
Selectively, I would say, those handful whom which you can trust and depend on - friends you know that even when they do you injustice, they will apologise and change for the better.


But then again, when you're too open-minded, even the closest of friends will get irritated by it.


Perhaps, I should never be so open-minded in front of my friends.
Some had voice their displeasure and some even retorted with hostility.

Maybe, I never had any inner circle to begin with.


Gary, there, you screw up once again.
But it's alright. Keep on going and don't let this setback stops you from moving on forward.
March on,
The Promised Land,
Awaits you.

Tell me what should I do?

If there is a God, or even a Devil,
please tell me what can I do and what should I do.

Was I wrong?
Wrong that Nigel is the Mr.Right for her?

I guess I was really wrong.

So dear God & Devil, I know I am very confuse...
I am confuse as to why, she can never be happy with the guy she wanted to love?

I know at least, that for my part, I am to be blame.
I should not resort to lies as a way to form a bond.
I have been a pathetic boyfriend for her.

But at least, I really tried and---
...
...
I shall not continue.

At least, she seem to have made up with him and they seem to be at peace again.
I shall keep my intentions hidden.
Well, dear God,
If you ever exist, please bless her with fortune and happiness that she always wanted.

And yes, I can't deny it.
I've moved on, but my feelings won't change until she gains her true happiness.
Neither will I get into another relationship,
nor I accept Love back into my life.
Not till the day,
my last romance gains her true happiness.

For now, Gary.
Look forward and stop backtracking. You've been backtracking too much.
No matter how tough it is to walk forward, you have to.
I am begging you, don't stop, don't turn back.
Just move forward...

Graduated lor~!

Babaaan~!!!

"ORD LOR~" Is something that pathetic boys who see NS as a waste of time shout in tears for finally regaining their freedom.

"Graduated lor~!!!" Is something that happened as of today for me! :)
I've successfully graduated from my course, Hair Fashion and Design.

Now, I have one more huddle to overcome.

My IA.

If I screw this up, this graduation will be useless.
I cannot afford to get fired.
I need to work hard, work harder, and work the hardest.

I NEED TO SURVIVE!


JUST.ONE.MORE.MONTH.TILL.I'M.FREE.


I can do it. 
Just like today,
Even without my parents' or friends' support,
I manage to make it this far.


I know I can.
And thank you, for giving me the motivation I needed.
You know who you are, girl.
I don't have to say. You made me work hard when my flame died.
Thank you.

Wake up.

I need to snap out of my current sorrowful/pitiful mood.
I need to do so.
I MUST do so.


===== Gary's inner theater =====

Dammit.
Don't go emo-ing on me again, Gary.
You promise yourself to live your life to your very best, so emo-ing is out of the dam fucking question.
DON'T.GO.THERE.
You're just gonna hurt yourself more.
Prioritize yourself over others - even the girl you love.
If you don't, you're not going to be the best you can be.


Come on,
NO pain, NO gain!
PUSH.PUSH.PUSH!

I.CANT.GO.ALL.EMO-ING.NOW.

Graduation Hair Show is TOMORROW.
Get out of your emo-ish mood, now - and keep out, forever!
You love the girl right? Then fucking let go.
She ain't happy with you and you know there isn't any point in going on when she can never be happy!
You know this! You know this!
You told thousands about this, and NOW, please do what you preach!


Wake up and smell the ash of reality.
Don't go feeling emo, now's not the time and there never was a time for emo-ing.
Be strong and walk on.


DASH! FULL SPEED AHEAD.
You have to fucking get over this huddle, or you're just gonna screw the hair show!

Get over it...

NOW!

Horrible Day!

I thought my watch could last at least 3 months...
IT JUST BROKE THIS MORNING, 9:30am!!!

I simply can't believe it. 10 bucks fly away like this. It purely sucks to be me at that moment.


Well, can't be helped.

Oh yeah, I manage to reach school at 6:45am!
Surprise Surprise!
I was the first STUDENT to step into the school. <_<"
It's nothing to be proud of, and I certainly don't wish it to happen again.
Nothing's available at that time.
No food, no coffee, no snacks!


NOTHING.

Today's all about rehearsal for tomorrow's graduation hair show.
It's gonna be epic but hey,
I am not looking forward to it.

This event is brought together with a lack of management so obvious that it's captain obvious.
This ain't like a hair show anymore,
It's more like a parade now. <_<"

Well, I don't have much say.
Small fry like me are meant to just sit back and let the adults do their job.
So yeah.
Gotta sleep early, then wake up at 4am to get ready!
Gotta catch my first bus at 5:34am!

It sure sucks when you do not have parents to drive you around.
It sure sucks when you do not have a car/motorcycle license.
It sure sucks when you CAN drive/ride but you're without a license and the vehicle.

Haiz.
I am still waiting,
For something to happen.
Something that I can celebrate about.
I shouldn't have compromise things to make it work out right.
It simply backfired so badly, that I am left without a chance.
I look back now and I see it.
I see it, the foolish me.
I still love you, so will you love me back?

Time is on my Side once more.

I finally, finally gotten a watch.

Yes, a watch. I needed one so badly because it's bothersome to look at time from your phone.
Having one at your wrist is so convenient. Now, I won't do embarrassing acts of bringing my wrist up to look at time when I do not have a watch.

Now, I am just glad to have a watch.
Time is on my side once more!

No, it's not something expensive. I got it for 10 bucks.
I don't see the need for me to own good Brands/Series like Criteria, Rolex, French Connection, or whatever. I'm a guy. I just need a watch that can follow me through my endless journey.


This is my last week of freedom before I start working at Next Salon in Ion Orchard.
It's not going to be easy, but I won't break, I won't fall, I won't give up.


The days ahead will be rough, as the end of my teenage life approaches, the start of my adult life will begin.

So what do I truly want?
Perhaps, money.
Perhaps, love.
Perhaps, just...
Someone who can truly understand me.

No. It's Impossible.

How the heck am I suppose to reach ITE-CE by 7:30am when my first bus starts at 6am!?
Impossible, Impossible, Impossible.

True Feelings.

I know whatever I said now is nothing but lies to you.

But there is just 3 words that I'll never lie to you.

They are - I Love You.

And I seriously do.
Even if you never intended to return to my side,
please believe,
that I truly love you.

Thanks.

PSI: 108

Seriously.

PSI: 108.

As if Singapore ain't polluted and warm enough, here comes the famous Haze from our very own neighboring country ________.


PSI: 108 is seriously fucked up man!

Guess what? I went for an interview at Next Salon located in Ion Orchard. Boy, that feeling ain't good. I felt the stress the moment I walk in.


Interview ended and I quickly go back home.

On the train home, between Clementi and Jurong East, I could see Teban Gardens... HIDDEN IN THE HAZE. Oh jeez. In my mind I was thinking, "That's the worse, I am actually going into that shit?"


Too much. Just too much.

Pretty soon, I'll have to wear a mask and go out now. *curses*

Graduation, in a week's time.

Yeah, it's in a week's time.

Luckily, I have already finish the photoshoot for my model today.

Reach school at 8am, model arrives at 8:30am.
9am starts my hair up, finish by 9:30am.

I know I may sound like a pro, but no. I'm not. In fact, I ain't good at Creative Hair Designs.
It's just... No.
No. It ain't great at all.
Moreover, the photoshoot starts at 1pm.


I ended up rotting in the basin area, helping out one of my junior participating in the photoshoot with some of his troubles, walking around, and sleeping.

So I end up slacking my way through.

And yes, I got so tired, while on my way home on the train, I keep wandering into dreamland.
In my dreamland, I kept dreaming about how it would be like to be living a life of an adult with a certain someone.

Though, that's an impossible thing right now.
I have to move on.
I must move on.

Funny thing. I reach home, I showered and tried to sleep.
All in vain.
I can't sleep. Something kept me awake. Maybe it's those dreams I had.

So I went down to the nearby optician to get my eyesight check once more.
My previous record was R: 75 L: 50
My new record was R 200 L 225


OTL.


This sucks. How did I get so bad?
I should stop wearing specs. I want to try contact lens. But they're too expensive for now.
I am penniless.

Blog's Birth

Well, here it is.

My new blog.

This time, I keep it simple.
Kinda gain a liking to simplicity. My life became so complicated before and now, I simply wish to keep it simple and easy. So I guess a new blog like this helps a lot.