Doubt.

Myself, where have you gone?

Doing things I never would do.
Saying things I never would say.
Thinking things I never would think.

I'm just not myself.
I've gotten insomnia.

I've lost my fitness.
I've gain weight.
I've lost my confidence which I fought so hard for.

Whatever happened to me? I look back now and I realize I was so much happier and carefree.
I had wings then, my wings of freedom.

I was happy I've finally gotten to serve my NS. But atlas, things don't seem the way it do. The way people lied, the things people do just to cover their tracks of their wrongdoings. The way people detest you for simply trying your best.

I constantly dive back into those days, wondering what when wrong.
I can simply put the blame on the people, but that's just downright unfair.

They are things that I cannot change. So I look further back.
There, I found truth.

I'm too eager, too trusting.
I open up too easily, and they abused it.

I can only blame all this on myself.

Because I am the one cause of my weakness.
I am my own enemy.